Are you there God? Its Me.

I happen to have only one daughter. She recently turned 5 years old. While most girls her age are all about Belle and Ariel and Tianna, she is all about Manny, Thomas, and Bob. Now don’t get me wrong, she will sit and watch a princess movie, but when it comes down to it, she would much rather watch Cars.

When I found out I was having a girl, I had visions of all the fun things I would get to do as a mom of a girl. Cute hair styles, pretty dresses, tea parties, etc. God had other plans for me.

He sent me a girl that will dabble in those things, but would much prefer to be outside with a bucket of mud while sitting in her pretty dress. He sent me a girl that screamed bloddy murder when I tried to do a cute hairstyle. He sent me a girl that finally comprised at the age of 3 and would at least wear a headband in her hair, but she had to do it herself of course, which resulted in her looking like the latest ’80′s rockstar. He sent this momma, who likes to have 2 feet firmly planted on the ground a girl who gets a thrill from walking on the wild side.

I am trying to learn not to flinch when she is excited about trying new things. I am trying to not show my fears to her. I do not want to squelch her individualism and her sense of adventure. I want her to become who God intends her to be without her momma getting in the way.

It is a good thing that I can flinch while she is up on those contraptions and experiencing her wild side. And pray.

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I have never been very good with fashion. I was a tomboy growing up so I did not really care about being “pretty” or pretending to be a princess or dressing up. My mom was also a tomboy and not really much into the fashion thing either.

In high school I tried doing the “cowgirl” look. It was the thing to do since I lived in a small town out in the country. I didn’t do too bad with that. Then I went to college and realized I had it all wrong.

I tried to be a little bit more fashionable, but I had no idea what I was doing. It is also pretty hard to find clothes that fit your body when “petite” usually starts at 5’2″ and I am only 4’9.” I spent a lot of time either in fun jammies or jeans and t-shirts.

Then I met my husband and I tried to be a little “cooler” and “sexier.” I was hoping to impress him. Thank God I did not need to do that because he loved me anyway. The whole “cooler” and “sexier” stage was a complete flop for me because again, I had no clue what I was doing.

Then I had kids.

I was lucky to be able to even get out of my jammies, let alone actually be fashionable. I was working part-time in the evening after Jayden was born so I had to wear a “uniform” that consisted of black clothing. I did pretty good with that since I did not have to worry about matching things up.

Now I have 3 kids. I am a busy work-at-home mom. I am in my early 30′s. I have started to try and become more fashionable in my older age because I do not want to lose myself.

I do not just want to be defined as Jayden’s mom or Dakota’s mom or Nolan’s mom.

I want to be Missy.

I want to be a woman.

While I am still not “up” on all the current fashion trends, I have definitely been trying to pay much more attention to what others are wearing and what is in the stores. I have been trying to buy one piece a month to try and update my current wardrobe.

I am trying to take time for myself in other ways too. I have started a skincare regimen. I have been giving myself regular pedicures at home. I am trying to get dressed and put make up on every day.

While I may not be trendy enough to be on the latest fashion magazine. However, making an effort and trying to find my own identity and who I am outside the home have helped my self-esteem grow and change within the last year.

I have begun to realize that it is not about looking like the latest top model, but it is about loving who you are and what you are. God wants us to give Him our hearts, not our appearance.

“As for those who seemed to be important—whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance—those men added nothing to my message.”

~Galatians 2:6~

*This post has been brought to you by the August Blog Challenge over at Bloggy Moms.*